Nine Nuggets of Advice you should never give.

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The irony of this blog post, I know. However, take my advice on giving advice.

I hate receiving advice I just never asked for. This advice usually comes from the people who should least be giving the advice and most be practicing what they’re trying to preach. People need to learn, and use it as a rule of thumb, that if someone has not asked for your opinion, they do not care to hear it.

Opinions are like arm pits, everyone has one, but that doesn’t mean you should go round shoving it in people’s faces. I, for one, would get rather offended with someone trying to shove their arm pit in my face out of the blue, so why is an opinion any different?

Here’s my list of “no-go” zones when it comes to unsolicited, unwarranted advice:

  1. Diet advice: unless you are a model walking down the runway in Victoria’s Secret underwear, assume that you should not be commenting on anyone’s diet. Unless I have personally come up to you and asked your opinion, keep it to yourself. Your way is not better than mine, unless you have gotten better results in a less amount of time, then I’d consider it.
  2. Relationship advice: ladies, come now; just rather keep it to yourself. I’ve heard of girls giving the soundest advice, yet they’re the biggest lunatics when it comes to their own relationships. So unless I’ve cried on your shoulder, eaten a kilogram of chocolate before looking at you through my tear stained, raccoon mascara eyes and asked, “what would you do?”, assume I would prefer you to listen instead of give your solutions.
  3. Financial advice: I have nothing to say about this. I won’t listen to you unless I know for a fact you have money in the bank. Until then, “take yo’ broke ass home”.
  4. Career advice: Sometimes I’m opening to listening without having asked if I can see you’ve paved a way from my position to your glorious position. But if we’re on the same level, I’m going to assume you haven’t taken your own advice either.
  5. Fashion advice: sorry, is your name Coco Chanel? Nope? Thought so. Too often I’ve heard people comment on the styles of other individuals when they have as much style of a brick wall. Unless someone has truly offended you by dressing provocatively in the worst way possible, just leave them be. Let them be unique in their dress sense. Full stop.
  6. Work out advice: I’ve heard of strangers walking up to other strangers in the gym, and telling them that they’re performing a work out wrong. Seriously? This is about as bad as it gets for me. I’m not going to pay you for your gym advice, I don’t want any work out routines and I definitely don’t want you to adjust how I do things. So unless I’m watching your amazing workout technique in the mirror whilst squatting like a stalker, assume that I don’t care about the positioning of your neck while pumping iron.
  7. Cooking advice: there exists people who comment on cooking technique without being asked. Those ones, who at dinner parties comment on how something is better done in an oven than in a microwave (ok, obviously, but eat your food and keep quiet). If I’ve asked how the food is, I genuinely want you to stop being polite and tell me how terrible my cooking is. If I haven’t asked, just chew with your mouth closed. Thanks.
  8. Conflict advice: I handle things in my own passive aggressive ways. I don’t need to hear how you handle your drama. Again with the listening without advice giving.
  9. Raising kids advice: honestly, we all think we know best from how we were raised. But I feel like this is the biggest no-no in unsolicited advice giving. I know one day I might have my own faults in motherhood, and I know my friends are going to have theirs, but I cannot imagine a world where we’re all sitting around tea parties telling each other what to do! Just be quiet and raise your own broken child without trying to fix anyone else’s!

Trust me, take my advice on this. Now that I have given it in the most unsolicited manner possible, without you asking, because I just know better and I’m definitely a voice of authority on whatever topic you didn’t care about asking my opinion on.

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