Disclaimer: This is so difficult to try and write about. I’ve even asked myself if going down this road is something I even want to do in a blog post. But I need to try. This is only my opinion; no one is ever forced to agree with my points of view. In fact, disagreeing is better for me to open a dialogue of learning. I learn from others more than I could ever learn by myself.
I have had hours and hours of conversation, with so many intelligent, smart, and genuine people I come across in my life. And when I ask them: “What is happiness?” I get a vastly different answer each time.
Of course it means something different to every person. And each and every single one of us are on the same journey to attain it (right?). But has it become a moving goal post? Has it lost it’s meaning because we just don’t get what it
is means anymore?
I generally find that there are three groups of people: those who think happiness is something material, those who think happiness lies in others and, a few people, who I regard as my soul mates, because they understand that it lies in oneself. I generalize people into these groups, even though I think generalizing is wrong.
Those who think happiness is something one can touch, or wrap oneself in, are usually the most ambitious and yet the least happy people I come across. I see how they fill their houses with so many things, and even make people into their things, and yet they are so lonely in those houses. I never understand these people; they never stop, not even for a minute, to smell the roses. They just work and work for more and more stuff that hold little value other than monetary. It’s like an insatiable desire for more, and yet it’s never enough.
The people pleasers are the next generalization I’ve come across. These people seek constant approval from others, and allow people to treat them poorly or without respect, with little consequence as long as some sort of “friendship” is maintained. Seeing others happy, even at the expense of their own happiness, is always ok.
Sometimes, I admit, I find myself slipping into this category. I hate that I have to admit that. And yet when I see someone else allow their happiness to be determined by others, I am most reproachful. Difficult to see one’s own faults in a mirror, even when others are your mirror.
I love people who are able to teach me, and help me realise that happiness comes from within. I know how cliché this is, but there’s a reason why it’s overdone and yet rarely achieved. Very few people are able to understand and say that they are truly happy. These people, of which I’ve met very few, are so balanced and live a simple life. Their lives aren’t cluttered by things they don’t need, or friends who stab them in the back at the drop of a hat. They live a balanced life of understanding that people come and go, and that one should work hard to be comfortable but still appreciate that it could be taken away in an instant. These people are my role models.
So what is happiness then? Well, to me, it’s about being exactly where you’re meant to be, and accepting that it’s how it’s meant to be. It’s about working hard, but wanting for nothing. It’s about ridding yourself of anything that serves no purpose, things that clutter the mind and the life. It’s about ridding yourself of “friends” who aren’t loyal or who don’t bring only light and positivity into your life. It’s about loyalty and compassion. It’s an altruistic life. But most of all, its about Being. Just Being. How many of you can say you know what it means to Be? I don’t know what that feels like, but one day I hope to just Be.